I was recently asked a question by a member of my professional IFS telecourse. He is a Diamond Approach student and knows that I am also. In fact, I have been a Ridhwan (Diamond Approach) student for 15 years and have grown enormously as a result of my work on this spiritual path. The Diamond Approach incorporates quite a bit of sophisticated psychology into its spiritiual work, and it has a way of working with the Inner Critic, which it calls the superego, that is quite different from that of IFS. He wanted to know how I compared the two approaches.

It turns out that a wrote an article a few years ago discussing what IFS has to offer to Diamond Approach students, and the IFS approach to the superego/inner critic is included. Here is the section of that article that deals with the inner critic. The article is written for Diamond Approach (DA) students and assumes a fairly detailed understanding of that system. Read the rest of this entry »

The Inner Critic is not a single part of you; there can be a number of critical parts that judge you in different ways or for different reasons. In our study of the Inner Critic, we have identified seven types of Inner Critics that people are troubled by.

Perfectionist
Tries to get you to do things perfectly. Has very high standards for behavior, performance, and production.

Inner Controller
Tries to control impulsive behavior that might not be good for you or others, or might be dangerous. Read the rest of this entry »

Bonnie and I have been intensively studying the Inner Critic and developing a variety of ways to understand it and work with it. Here is a brief introductory article:

Jeanette had low self esteem; all her teachers wondered about this. She was musically talented, but had no confidence in herself. She never tried out for the orchestra or school plays. As she got older, this pattern continued and she ended up with minimal jobs. Every time she had an inclination to reach out and try something, she got a sinking feeling in her chest and gave up on the idea. She didn’t believe she could amount to anything. Read the rest of this entry »

We have been having a lot of fun with our new IFS products. Not only is there the Self-Therapy book and the Card Deck, but Bonnie also created a PowerPoint presentation based on the Card Deck which is great for giving talks on IFS. And the latest product is an ebook version of Self-Therapy, which is much less expensive ($7) and you don’t have to pay shipping costs. This is great for people overseas.

We hope that you enjoy these products and give them to your loved ones for the holidays.

Here are links to all these products:

Self-Therapy book or ebook

IFS Card Deck

IFS PowerPoint presentation

We have been thinking a lot about “teaching stories” these days.  So, I want to share one that I use, and invite other people, therapist or not, to share some of your teaching stories with us, Memories of Milton Erikson, who wrote a famous book of teaching stories.

I was  working with a couple that I really love the other night. We were talking about a woman’s relationship with a difficult and critical mother, with whom she has frequent phone contact. Read the rest of this entry »