Since the Inner Critic is one of the most and tenacious issues that people face, we have been studying the details of how to transform this part using IFS. When you start working with an Inner Critic part, you quickly realize that it is not the only part that gets activated. When self-judgment is an issue, there is an entire cluster of parts that become involved.*

First, there is the Inner Critic part itself, which is judging you, pushing you, doubting you, shaming you, and so on. This is a “protector” in IFS terminology. Then there is a part of you that receives these attacks, believes them, and feels bad about itself. It may feel worthless, inadequate, lazy, guilty, ashamed, or hopeless. We call this part the Criticized Child because it is usually a child part, an “exile” in IFS. Many people confuse the Critic and the Criticized Child; make sure to distinguish them in your inner work. This child part is already carrying negative beliefs about you as a result of experiences in childhood. The judgment from the Inner Critic both activates these bad feelings in the Child and creates more of them as a result of its attacks. Read the rest of this entry »

Inner Critic Workshops for Women
Over the years I have worked with hundred’s of women on deeply personal issues related to self-esteem. These women sought counseling in an effort to have a coherent, meaningful life and to fulfill their potential for satisfaction and happiness. Four years ago, I went through a period of time when I was seeing a number of impressive women. They were gifted with a variety of capacities—intellectual acuity, musical talent, personality, inner and outer beauty. Despite that, the common thread that kept jumping out at me was their self-doubt and self-hate. 

I imagined that if I could put them in the same room—to see and reflect each other—they would sense their similar conundrum and be able to gain some perspective on it. As a therapist I had helped people work with their “superegos” for many years. But for this group,  the concept of the “Inner Critic” seemed more appropriate. They were constantly being harassed by a demeaning critical voice. If they had a great job that sucked up all their time and energy, they were criticized for not having a fabulous boyfriend. If they decided to stay home with their children, they were overcome with feelings of deficiency when their sisters had careers.  If they were radiantly beautiful, they were never satisfied with their bodies. If they were bright and articulate, they were worried about their looks or professional competition.

I wanted to help them find an antidote to these nattering voices. The image that surfaced was an exuberant chorus of women’s voices standing around them, saying words that took away the power of the critic. I set out to design a process the allowed each women to separate from her critic and find her own personal mantra of love, assurance. and support. With that, I decided to bring them together in the first Inner Critic Workshop for women in 2006. Read the rest of this entry »

Hugo Bonham, who recently completed my IFS telecourse for therapists, writes:

I am wondering if there is a category of parts missing from IFS?
 
You mentioned the
exiles – in pain
managers – trying to prevent activation of exiles
fire fighters – trying to distract us from activated parts
 
but some parts seem to be the result of other parts:
 
for example in panic attacks I have often found that there are several parts
the panic in the belly
the fear of the panic in the chest causing palpitations
the negative thoughts in the head like “I am about to die” or “something is seriously wrong”
and in the space in front of the belly something that the panic was originally concerned about.
When that one in front is healed then the panicky part no longer panics.
So the panic seems to be the result of something else and other parts are in turn caused by it,
or at least reacting to it.
  Read the rest of this entry »