Monthly Archives: May 2010

Success with Procrastination

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I found this post on a forum on the web, and then I responded to it. I have included both.

The forum post: So, I’ve been reading Self-Therapy by Jay Earley, PHd over the last week or so. I finally finished it last night. I have been both intrigued and skeptical with the work. Anyway, after I laid down for bed (I never go right to sleep) I decided to do my first session. I thought about a phone call I have been wanting to make for a couple weeks, but have been putting off, so I went to work on a procrastinating part. It turned out that part was protecting a Panicked part. When I asked the Panicked part to show me a memory that it was carrying, I was amazed at how at superfast speed I was given the memory of my Father having a heart attack nearly 15 years ago. He recovered well and it wasn’t something I’ve thought much about since. But, I then remembered details about that occassion that surpass my usual recall for events. I then went on to unburden the Panicked part and the procrastinating protector. Yes, it does seem like it was all happening very fast in one sessions time. So, a little bit ago I’m recalling the session I did and this memory that I was givn and how incredible that seemed, but thinking to myself it didn’t really work overall. I still slept late this morning. I decide to post this about the memory and as I start to type it hits me- I MADE THAT STUPID CALL about an hour ago! That seems significant! I’ll definitely have to work at this IFS stuff some more anyway.

 My response: I’m very impressed with your ability to read my book and then immediately do a session on yourself, and follow it all the way through to unburdening. That is fabulous! And it’s great that you got a noticeable change in the procrastination issue you started with. Congrats!

In order to reconnect with the part you worked with, you probably need to remember how you accessed it–through an image, body sensation, emotion, etc. Then you use that to bring it back. You obviously have a pretty good memory of the session. If that doesn’t work, it may mean that another protector is getting in your way.
Jay

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Hard Drive Crashed

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I just wanted to let everyone know that the reason there have been not blogs or posts in the last week is that the hard drive crashed on my computer and I have been dealing with getting a new computer, restoring files, and cleaning up the mess.

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IFS Capacities 3

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Continuing with this series of posts on IFS capacities, here are the rest of the basic capacities:

Integrating
Helping a protector to realize that an exile has been transformed
Helping a protector to let go of its protective role after an unburdening
Knowing what to do if a protector isn’t ready to let go
Helping a protector to take on a new role after an unburdening
Checking to see if any parts are upset by the change
Testing to see what happens in the trailhead situation

Real Time Work
Knowing how a part affects your life
Following up with an exile after a session
Keeping notes on what happened in a session
Keeping track of your parts and their relationships with each other over time
Being aware of when a part gets activated in your life
Being aware of what happens in a trailhead situation after unburdening
Negotiating with a protector to let you lead from Self before the exile is healed
Working with a part in real time when it is activated to let you lead

Beginning and Ending Sessions
Connecting with the target part at the end of a session
Checking with and thanking other parts at the end of a session
Taking up from where you were at the end of a previous session

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IFS Capacities 2

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Following up on yesterday’s post, here are some more capacities that are valuable in the IFS process.

Qualities
Patience
Trusting the process
Courage
Perspective of Self on parts
Ability to tolerate experiential work
Ability to tolerate opening up exiles
Ability to tolerate parts transforming
Compassion and connectedness with parts
Clarity about inner process
Your protectors generally trust you to work with exiles

Working with an Exile
Getting permission to work with an exile. Reassuring protectors.
Giving hope to a protector.
Detecting when you are blended with an exile
Unblending from an exile’s pain and staying in Self
Negotiating with an exile to not flood you so you can get permission to work with it
Consciously blending with an exile when appropriate
Being compassionate toward an exile and connected with it
Getting to know an exile
Developing a relationship with an exile
Accessing childhood origins of an exile’s burden
Accessing implicit memories
Accessing generic memories
Working through blocks to seeing the origins
Witnessing childhood origins of an exile’s burden
Knowing when the witnessing is complete for that session

Healing an Exile
Being a loving, supportive, nurturing Self for an exile
Working through blocks to an exile receiving reparenting
Embodying the reparenting experience
Being a powerful, protective Self for an exile
Retrieving an exile
Working through blocks to an exile being retrieved
Unburdening an exile
Knowing what to do when an exile isn’t ready to unburden
Knowing what to do if the unburdening doesn’t work or doesn’t complete
Allowing the positive qualities to emerge after an unburdening
Embodying the positive qualities

 

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IFS Capacities

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For those of you who are IFS clients or have learned to practice IFS of self-help or peer counseling, it can be useful to be aware of which capacities or skills you have developed and which need more work. Here is the beginning of a list of such capacities:

Getting Started
Understanding what parts may be involved in an issue you want to explore
Understanding relationships between parts involved in an issue—protection, alliance, harm, polarization
Ending the preliminary story telling and starting experiential work
Accessing a part thru image, internal voice, body sensing, emotions
Accessing all parts activated at the moment one at a time
Accessing all parts related to an issue
Choosing a target part to work with

Getting to Know a Protector
Detecting when you are blended with the target protector
Unblending from the target part
Knowing what you feel toward the target part so you can tell if you are in Self
Unblending from a concerned part
Asking a protector questions to discover its role and positive intent
Allowing a part to come into focus gradually
Developing a trusting relationship with a protector by appreciating it
Working through mistrust with a protector
Working with a non-verbal part
Knowing when to listen to a protector’s concern and work with the protector it is worried about
Discovering the exile that is being protected by a protector

Guiding the IFS Process
Differentiating parts: How to tell when you are hearing from a different part than the target part
Naming parts
Being aware of other parts that arise while you are focused on the target part
Detecting when you are blended with a concerned part that emerges later in the process (judgmental, distracting, confused, doubting, etc.)
Detecting when you are blended with any other part that interferes with the process
(impatient, insecure, intellectual, etc.)
Detecting when you become blended with a part while you are getting to know it
Staying with the thread of a session
Choosing to change target parts
Recognizing when you are no longer in Self
Keeping on track with witnessing a specific memory/situation when many memories come up
Seeing all parts that are activated in a given moment from Self in order to unblend

 

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