Jay Earley, PhD and Bonnie Weiss, LCSW
Do you struggle with bouts of depression and low self-esteem? Do you feel ashamed or guilty or hopeless at times? Take heart-this book offers a solution. Based on Internal Family Systems Therapy (IFS) a powerful form of psychotherapy, Self-Therapy for Your Inner Critic can help you put an end to your painful feelings and help you grow into the person you’ve always dreamed of being. The surprising and wonderful news is that many people can achieve this transformation on their own, without the intervention of a psychotherapist. It’s time for your suffering to end because you can transform your life.
The Inner Critic is the part of you that judges you, demeans you, and tells you who you should be. It undermines your self-confidence and makes you feel bad about yourself. Since this is one of the most difficult and tenacious issues that people face, we have written this book to show you how to transform your Inner Critic using IFS.
Our core understanding is that self-esteem is your birthright. You deserve to feel good about yourself without having to earn it. Yet we’ve all had the experience of feeling bad about ourselves. Think of those times when you felt down and believed that you were worthless, stupid, incompetent, etc. That wasn’t the truth about you; it was a message from your Inner Critic.
What Makes This Book So Powerful
There isn’t just one Inner Critic part; most people have a number of self-judging protectors that operate in different ways. This book identifies seven types of Inner Critics with different motivations and strategies for controlling you.
When you go inside and actually get to know your Inner Critic using IFS, it’s surprising to learn that it is actually trying to help you (even though it is really causing trouble). This makes it possible to make a personal connection with your Critic and turn it into an ally rather than fighting it. Self-Therapy for Your Inner Critic contains the details of exactly how to transform each of the seven Inner Critics through IFS.
Another exciting and hopeful outcome of the book: We have discovered that you can develop an aspect of your Self that we call the Inner Champion, which supports and encourages you. It is a magic bullet for dealing with the negative impacts of your Inner Critics. The adage “You can love yourself” is not just a platitude. Our book shows you how to do exactly that. Therefore you aren’t stuck with the anguish and difficulties that stem from your Inner Critic. Your inner world can change so that you feel confident and capable, allowing your life journey to unfold in an exciting way.
Foreword by James Flaherty
For everyone I know, including myself, the inner critic causes unnecessary suffering, smothers initiative, wreaks havoc in relationships, and defeats change efforts. It’s easy to locate–simply pay attention when you try something new, prepare for an important activity, or get introduced to a potential date or employer, and the critic will show up in full force. Undoubtedly you know what I’m talking about.
Distinguishing the critic is an essential first step in being able to intervene in its awkward, painful interruptions of our plans, self-development, and interactions with others. This extraordinarily helpful book-using transcripts from real conversations, playful illustrations, checklists, and questionnaires-makes taking this first step a sure and accurate one for any reader.
What to do once we find the critic? Ah, there’s the rub. Criticizing our critic doesn’t help; giving in to it diminishes us; trying to fight with it tangles us up in endless struggle. Here’s where the book’s real power comes into play. The authors, both deeply experienced in Internal Family Systems Therapy, clearly show a step-by-step process of diminishing the critic’s power and transforming it into an ally through psychological alchemy, which is at the heart of their therapeutic method. They’ve found the perfect balance point by writing a book that isn’t too dense in theory to be useful and isn’t too superficial to have much lasting impact.
The inner critic is often disguised, defended, and deeply enmeshed within us in contradictory thoughts, feelings, and sensations. In a further sign of the authors’ true mastery of the topic, they make this confusing bundle of reactions clear and accessible.
The book also shows how we can gain access to parts of ourselves that can bring encouragement, continuous learning and self-correction to our most important activities and relationships. As a consequence, readers can develop themselves into someone with much greater confidence and independence of thought and action.
Please jump into this book and take on its activities, at first for yourself; they will bring you immediate relief and learning. Then, if you’re someone who works with others, bring the book’s practical wisdom to your clients. They will be grateful, well served, and left with much greater self-knowledge and competence.
With gratitude, respect, and admiration for Jay and Bonnie, I wholeheartedly recommend you bring your full commitment and dedication to this book.
James Flaherty
Founder of New Ventures West, Integral Coaching®
Author of Coaching: Evoking Excellence in Others
To purchase the book and read more about what People are Saying about Self-Therapy for Your Inner Critic click here.
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