Your Inner Critic really has a positive intent for you. It is trying to protect you from pain, though it often does this in a distorted, destructive way. In order to get to know your Inner Critic and find out its positive intent, you must be open to it rather than fighting it. In IFS terminology, this means you must be in Self. Here is how to achieve this.

Check to see how you feel toward the Inner Critic part. If you are feeling curiosity, openness, compassion, or the like, then you are in Self and you can proceed to get to know the Critic. If not, you are probably blended with one of these four Concerned Parts. These parts are not Self because they have a negative attitude toward the Critic. They won’t be helpful in transforming the Critic.

a. Wary Part. Wary of the Critic. Afraid that it will do damage if you engage with it.
Validate that fear because the Critic has done a lot of damage.
However, assure the Wary Part that you won’t let the Critic take over and harm you or the exile.
Explain that you are going to get to know the Critic from Self and you are strong.
Remind it that the Critic has a positive intent, so you can connect with it and help transform it.
Ask it to step aside so you can do that.

b. Angry Part. Angry or Judgmental toward the Critic and wanting to get rid of it.
Validate that attitude because the Critic has done a lot of damage.
However, explain that you can’t get rid of a part. Even if it seems like you have, it will come back, sometimes with more power than ever. And you don’t want a constant war going on inside.
Reassure it as above and ask it to step aside.

c. Inner Defender. Argues with the Critic.
Validate that attitude because the Critic is really wrong about you.
However, explain that you can’t win against the Critic by arguing. It usually wins the argument, or comes back later and attacks again with more force because it feels that it must counter your arguments.
Reassure it as above and ask it to step aside.

d. Rebel. Fights against the shoulds and rules of the Critic.
Validate that attitude because the shoulds of the Critic are too pushy and oppressive.
However, explain that rebelling won’t solve the problem. You just get extreme, or the Critic wins, or it comes back later with more force because you rebelled and it feels it must win.
Reassure it as above and ask it to step aside.

If the Concerned Part steps aside, check to see how you feel toward the Critic now, and repeat if necessary until you are in Self. Then you can proceed to get to know the Critic from an open place, which will lead to connecting with it and ultimately transforming it.