This help sheet outlines the initial steps in working with an Inner Critic part. You can use this in working on yourself or facilitating a partner.

P1. Accessing the Critic
If the Critic is not activated, imagine yourself in a situation in which it judges you.
Get an image of it and hear what it says to you.

P2. Unblending from the Criticized Child/Critic
Check to see if you are feeling bad about yourself or are believing that you are deficient.
Options for unblending:

• Remember that this is just a message from the Critic and not the truth.
• Listen to the Criticized Child’s pain with compassion from Self.
• Ask the Child to go into a safe place so you can help both it and the Critic.
• Explain that you won’t allow the Critic to attack it.
• Supply a nurturing aspect of Self to comfort the exile.
• Visualize the Critic in a room to provide a safe container for it.

P3. Unblending from the Inner Defender
Check to see how you feel toward the Critic right now.

If you feel compassionate, curious, etc., then you are in Self-leadership; move on to P4.  If you don’t, then unblend from the Inner Defender as follows:

• Ask if it would be willing to step aside (or relax) just for now so you can get to know the Critic part from an open place. Explain that doing this will help you to connect with the Critic and help it to change, and that you won’t let the Critic take over and attack.
• If the Defender is willing to step aside, check again to see how you feel toward the Critic, and repeat.
• If it still won’t step aside, ask what it is afraid would happen if it did, and reassure it about its fears.

P4. Finding Out about the Critic
Ask the Critic what it is trying to accomplish by judging you.
Ask what it is afraid would happen if it didn’t.
Sense what exile it is trying to protect.

P5. Developing a Trusting Relationship with the Critic
You can foster trust by saying the following to the Critic (if true).

• I understand what you are trying to do.
• I appreciate your efforts on my behalf.

This is taken from our new book, Self-Therapy for Your Inner Critic. For more information or to purchase, go to http://personal-growth-programs.com/lp/inner-critic.html.