The two latest books I am reading have a similar focus. The Empathic Civilization, by Jeremy Rifkin, focuses on the historical development of empathy in our world and how it is desperately needed at this time on our planet. The Compassionate Mind, by Paul Gilbert, looks at psychotherapy from the perspective of compassion. They are really both talking about almost the same thing, just calling it by different terms. I highly recommend them both.

Of course, compassion is a key attribute of the Self in IFS, and therefore a central component of the way I do therapy and the way I think about psychological healing. Maybe this is just where my interests are going, but I hope these books are a sign that our culture is waking up to the importance of compassion.

I have been reading a chapter on self-attacking by Paul Gilbert, a British psychotherapy researcher, in a book he edited on compassion. I was impressed by his understanding of the psychology of the inner critic and how similar it is to that of IFS. His work is rooted in Cognitive Behavorial Therapy and based on many research studies. He has a theory of psychological process that emphasizes the functional nature of self-destructive tendencies such as the inner critic. By “functional,” he means that a psychological activity (such as self-attacks) happens because it serves some function for the person, or it did at one time. He is essentially saying that the inner critic has a positive intent for the person, to use IFS terminology. His method of therapy also bears some resemblance to IFS in that it is based on compassion. I am excited to see a research-based confirmation of IFS from a completely different psycholgical orientation. The fundamental truths about the psyche keep showing up in all sorts of places.

During this difficult week, seeing the shocking images in Haiti, some people were glued to the TV and some avoided watching altogether. I am a checker. I feel the need to know and be connected with what is going on, but in small doses.

I find myself startled that now most news crews have gone home and we are back to Senator Brown, Tiger Woods’ rehab, and illegitimate children of famous men.

How can I stay connected and not go back to business as usual. And why do I want to? There is something in my Jewish roots that holds that it is important to know what is going on in the world, to not ignore other people’s suffering.

And then there is a spiritual challenge to not shy away from horror but to be a witness and keep my heart open. My years as a therapist, working with survivors of sexual abuse, have taught me the importance of being a compassionate witness in the healing process. Read the rest of this entry »