I found this post on a forum on the web, and then I responded to it. I have included both.

The forum post: So, I’ve been reading Self-Therapy by Jay Earley, PHd over the last week or so. I finally finished it last night. I have been both intrigued and skeptical with the work. Anyway, after I laid down for bed (I never go right to sleep) I decided to do my first session. I thought about a phone call I have been wanting to make for a couple weeks, but have been putting off, so I went to work on a procrastinating part. It turned out that part was protecting a Panicked part. When I asked the Panicked part to show me a memory that it was carrying, I was amazed at how at superfast speed I was given the memory of my Father having a heart attack nearly 15 years ago. He recovered well and it wasn’t something I’ve thought much about since. But, I then remembered details about that occassion that surpass my usual recall for events. I then went on to unburden the Panicked part and the procrastinating protector. Yes, it does seem like it was all happening very fast in one sessions time. So, a little bit ago I’m recalling the session I did and this memory that I was givn and how incredible that seemed, but thinking to myself it didn’t really work overall. I still slept late this morning. I decide to post this about the memory and as I start to type it hits me- I MADE THAT STUPID CALL about an hour ago! That seems significant! I’ll definitely have to work at this IFS stuff some more anyway.

 My response: I’m very impressed with your ability to read my book and then immediately do a session on yourself, and follow it all the way through to unburdening. That is fabulous! And it’s great that you got a noticeable change in the procrastination issue you started with. Congrats!

In order to reconnect with the part you worked with, you probably need to remember how you accessed it–through an image, body sensation, emotion, etc. Then you use that to bring it back. You obviously have a pretty good memory of the session. If that doesn’t work, it may mean that another protector is getting in your way.
Jay

Continuing with this series of posts on IFS capacities, here are the rest of the basic capacities:

Integrating
Helping a protector to realize that an exile has been transformed
Helping a protector to let go of its protective role after an unburdening
Knowing what to do if a protector isn’t ready to let go
Helping a protector to take on a new role after an unburdening
Checking to see if any parts are upset by the change
Testing to see what happens in the trailhead situation

Real Time Work
Knowing how a part affects your life
Following up with an exile after a session
Keeping notes on what happened in a session
Keeping track of your parts and their relationships with each other over time
Being aware of when a part gets activated in your life
Being aware of what happens in a trailhead situation after unburdening
Negotiating with a protector to let you lead from Self before the exile is healed
Working with a part in real time when it is activated to let you lead

Beginning and Ending Sessions
Connecting with the target part at the end of a session
Checking with and thanking other parts at the end of a session
Taking up from where you were at the end of a previous session

For those of you who are IFS clients or have learned to practice IFS of self-help or peer counseling, it can be useful to be aware of which capacities or skills you have developed and which need more work. Here is the beginning of a list of such capacities:

Getting Started
Understanding what parts may be involved in an issue you want to explore
Understanding relationships between parts involved in an issue—protection, alliance, harm, polarization
Ending the preliminary story telling and starting experiential work
Accessing a part thru image, internal voice, body sensing, emotions
Accessing all parts activated at the moment one at a time
Accessing all parts related to an issue
Choosing a target part to work with

Getting to Know a Protector
Detecting when you are blended with the target protector
Unblending from the target part
Knowing what you feel toward the target part so you can tell if you are in Self
Unblending from a concerned part
Asking a protector questions to discover its role and positive intent
Allowing a part to come into focus gradually
Developing a trusting relationship with a protector by appreciating it
Working through mistrust with a protector
Working with a non-verbal part
Knowing when to listen to a protector’s concern and work with the protector it is worried about
Discovering the exile that is being protected by a protector

Guiding the IFS Process
Differentiating parts: How to tell when you are hearing from a different part than the target part
Naming parts
Being aware of other parts that arise while you are focused on the target part
Detecting when you are blended with a concerned part that emerges later in the process (judgmental, distracting, confused, doubting, etc.)
Detecting when you are blended with any other part that interferes with the process
(impatient, insecure, intellectual, etc.)
Detecting when you become blended with a part while you are getting to know it
Staying with the thread of a session
Choosing to change target parts
Recognizing when you are no longer in Self
Keeping on track with witnessing a specific memory/situation when many memories come up
Seeing all parts that are activated in a given moment from Self in order to unblend

At any given moment, you are either in Self or you blended with a part—a protector or exile. When you are judging yourself, you are blended with an Inner Critic part. When you are feeling bad about yourself, you are blended with a Criticized Child part. In fact, you are often blended with both the Critic and the Criticized Child at the same time.

You can only work successfully with an Inner Critic if you aren’t blended with it or the Criticized Child. When you unblend from a Critic, it doesn’t mean that the self-judgment disappears or you stop feeling bad about yourself. It means that you aren’t completely taken over by these feelings. You have some space inside that is separate from them. You don’t fully buy into the idea that you are inadequate. You can see that this is just a part of you that is attacking you rather than believing it is the truth about you. For example, if your Inner Critic says that you are a loser and will never find love in your life, you recognize that this is simply an attack from this part of you. It isn’t the truth.

Though you may still feel sad or ashamed, when you are unblended with the Criticized Child, you aren’t dominate by these feelings. You have a place in you (Self) that is feeling solid and OK. From this place you can view these feelings and understand these attacks and work with them. You may feel hurt to hear this message that you are a loser, and you may feel some hopelessness about your love life, but that isn’t all you feel. You reside in a place that is deeper than those emotions, a place of calmness and curiosity.  This is not the final solution to your Inner Critic problem. It is just a preliminary step that gives you enough space to deal with the problem.

IFS recognizes that a protector can’t fully let go and transform until the exile(s) that it protects have been accessed and unburdened. However, there are situations where it isn’t practical to do this right away. Then you can connect with the protector from Self and negotiate with it to allow you to take the lead in a difficult situation in your life where this protector normally takes over and causes problems. This means that you can change your attitudes and behavior in some situations even before the underlying exile has been healed. Here’s how to do this with an Inner Critic protector:

First make a connection with the Critic but understanding what it is trying to do for you and appreciating its efforts. Then it will be possible for it to cooperate with you and learn a different way to respond when a situation triggers it. You can learn to negotiate with it to allow you to lead whenever such a situation arises. Explain that Self can handle this situation and make this decision. The Critic doesn’t have to be extreme about it. The Critic became extreme because it was dealing with a dangerous and harmful situation in childhood, and it believes that this is happening again. Furthermore, there wasn’t a Self there to help back then, and the Critic hasn’t realized that you have a Self available to help now. Or maybe your Self hasn’t been fully available. But now that you are doing this IFS work, your Self has been accessed and can help. And now that the Self and the Critic are connected, the Critic is more likely to listen to the Self and trust what the Self is saying. Read the rest of this entry »